


death note.

by nekodzukenma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Arguments/Fighting, Explicit Language, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Illness, M/M, MCD, Major character death - Freeform, Mention of blood, Smoking, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27453196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekodzukenma/pseuds/nekodzukenma
Summary: he had promised me love,but not in this lifetime
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Kunimi Akira
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	death note.

**Author's Note:**

> Day 4: Illness/Death + "I wish i'd never met you/this never happened"
> 
> (1) the characters are in college in this fic 
> 
> (2) the story is purely fiction! the events that happened are not in any way accurate to actual real life events
> 
> again, tw // mcd , major character death , illness , mention of blood , arguments , mention of smoking , foul language , mention of hospitals
> 
> enjoy!!
> 
> #Haikyuu #ハイキュー #HaikyuuAngstWeek2020
> 
> [ my twitter ](https://twitter.com/kodzuknm)

Kunimi and Kageyama were, in fact, friends.

Well, not exactly friends, but more like civil with each other.

Not exactly civil with each other, but they did like each other.

Scratch that.

Long story short, they were in love with each other but because of their pride they wouldn't confess to each other.

Like _"Kaguya-sama Love is War"_ but make it gay.

But that was before September 13th.

_What happened on September 13th?_

\---

_March 3, 20xx_

**"Oi, Kindaichi"**

**"What now, Kageyama"**

**"Have you seen Kunimi?"**

**"He's out back, dunno why"**

**"'kay thanks"**

Kageyama went out back to get Kunimi but as he got closer to the back of the gymnasium, he suddenly stopped in his tracks.

_this smell..._

_don't tell me—_

**"Akira!"**

**"OH SHI— TOBIO! WHAT THE HELL"**

_what the fuck—_

**"Are you— are you _fucking smoking?_ in school? behind the gymnasium? seriously?"**

_he never told me that he smoked—_

**"Yeah, so? fuck off, Tobio. Don't even bother telling Oikawa-san because he borrows my lighter sometimes"** Kunimi huffed one more and put out his cig beside all the other ones, Kageyama counted three sticks all in all.

_how does he not smell like smoke after all that_

**"What are you hanging out here for?"** Kunimi sounded irritated as he rummaged the pockets of his jersey jacket for gum, mints, anything at this point to get rid of the smoke that lingered in the air and was starting to cling onto his clothes.

 **"Want me to get the insane amount of mint gum you always keep in the left zipper pocket of your gym bag?"** Kageyama offered which made Kunimi snap his head to his direction.

**"How do you know about my mint safe?"**

**"Pfft, mint safe? that's the best you could think of?"** Kageyama laughed mockingly at Kunimi at the mention of the codename for his stash that he had though of in the spur of the moment.

 **"Just answer the question, King"** Kunimi sighed and took off his jersey jacket that had already reeked of cigarette smoke.

 **"Might have stolen a few packs before when you'd leave it open, no biggie, Aki."** Kageyama shrugged **"Want me to get a few packs for you? And that weird glass bottle spray thing that I assume is your perfume?"**

 **"Yes... and it's called cologne, not perfume, you dumb shit"** Kunimi commented as he slumped on the old benches behind the gym.

 **"Yeah, yeah, got it"** Kageyama waved his hand dismissively as he walked back inside the gym **"We're talking about this when I get back, Akira"**

 **"No shit, Sherlock"** Kunimi sighed as he looked up and closed his eyes.

_I tried so hard to keep this a secret, especially from you. God, this is so stupid._

**"Oi, here are your fresheners"** Kageyama threw three packs of mints and some gum onto Kunimi's lap and sat down beside him, placing the cologne by their side and shoving his hands into his jersey jacket.

**"So..."**

**"So..? What?"** Kunimi popped two mints in his mouth and offered Kageyama some.

 **"Since when did you smoke?"** Kageyama ate a mint and waited for Kunimi to answer.

**"Middle school, got roped into it by some high schoolers that I was friends with"**

_well that was a stupid decision_

**"Why do you smoke?"**

**"At first it was just socially, you know, like only at parties and such but... when I get stressed too much, I just have to, I need to, puff out a smoke. It's just— ugh, why do I bother"** Kunimi replied, exasperated, as he sprayed on some peppermint cologne and chewed on two strips of gum.

 **"Why do you think that?"** Kunimi was blowing a bubble as he listened to Kageyama **"Why do you think that people don't care or won't bother to understand what you'll say?"**

Kunimi's bubble popped **"Because it's always like that. I mean, I'm not much of a presence in the first place anyway so who would bother to listen to me? much less understand?"** Kunimi said with finality as he blew on his gum.

 **"I will"** Kageyama stated **"I will, I would, I could, I can"** he faced Kunimi as he said those words.

_dug dug dug_

Kunimi's bubblegum had deflated onto his lips as he stared at Kageyama, not expecting that he would actually answer his question.

Kunimi chewed on his gum again **"Sure. I'm sure you will, you would, you could, you can"** He popped his bubblegum in front of Kageyama's face, stood up and offered his hand to Kageyama.

 **"C'mon King let's go back"** Kunimi smiled as Kageyama took his hand and hid his already blushing face.

_oya? so he can be cute, too_

**"Oii~ Is the King blushing? Because of me? Should I be honored?"** Kunimi teased Kageyama as he tried to get a clear look on his face.

**"Ugh, shut up shut up shut uppp"**

**"Aww are you embarrassed, King Tobi? Huh, are youuuu? Why? Do you like me or something?"** Kunimi was poking Kageyama's sides as they went back to the gym.

 **"C'mon Tobi answer the—"** Kageyama pinned Kunimi to the wall of the gym, a few feet away from the entrance **"I told you to stop, didn't I?"**

Kageyama was close, _too close_ , that Kunimi could hear his breathing and see every eyelash that Kageyama could have. Sirens and signals were going off in Kunimi's head, telling him to get away from Kageyama's hold, as fast as possible, as far as possible. 

**"And so what if I like you? Will you do something about it?"**

_dUG DUG DUG DUG DUG_

_gOOD GOD somebody please take him away from me or I might do something I shouldn't, this isn't healthy for my heart please_

Kunimi closed his eyes as Kageyama leaned in close, closer than before **"Oya? Look who's embarrassed now, Akira"** Kunimi had opened his eyes at the exact same moment as Kageyama smirks, walking back inside the gym, trying to hide his smile, as Kunimi hid his face with his hands.

_that son of a—_

**"Oi, Kunimi-chan~"** Oikawa called out as he noticed Kunimi who was outside the gym.

**"Ah— Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san"**

**"You okay, Kunimi? You look awfully red, do you have a fever?"** Iwaizumi was about to check Kunimi's temp but the smaller boy stepped back.

 **"Ah, no. I'm alright, Iwaizumi-san. Nothing to worry about"** Kunimi smiled at Iwaizumi as he faced front.

_I am so going to get even with you, King_

\---

_September 12, 20xx_

**"Oi"**

**"What"**

**"Set for me"**

Kageyama was taken aback, Kunimi _never_ asks _him_ to set for him, let alone take initiative to practice. 

_What's wrong with him?_

**"Why, you're tired already, King Tobi?"** Kunimi chuckled as he went to get a volleyball.

_Okay he is definitely broken somewhere_

**"No, but are you? You asked me to set for you, which you never do, and you're practicing on your own accord though you hate practicing"** Kageyama listed as he nonchalantly set a ball in the air.

 **"And since when did you pay so much attention to me, King?"** Kunimi smirked as he went to the back line.

_shit, he got me_

Kageyama stopped playing with the ball and faced Kunimi with _slightly_ blushing cheeks.

 **"I don't— I just— No, I— shut up and get ready"** Kageyama turned around to get a ball and broke eye contact with Kunimi.

_freaking pretty ass mfer._

**"Don't burn out on me, Akira"**

**"Don't get tired of me, King Tobi"**

\---

**"TOBIO WHAT THE HELL! THAT WAS A SHITTY ASS TOSS!"**

**"DON'T BLAME ME FOR YOUR SLACKING, AKIRA! THAT WAS A PERFECTLY GOOD TOSS!"**

**"GOD! THIS IS WHY I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN _YOU_ TOSS THE BALL UP!"**

**"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT ASKED ME TO SET FOR YOU!"**

**"I DID BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY DO AT LEAST A DECENT JOB AT IT! BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT WAS CLOSE TO DECENT, DOES IT?!"**

**"WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A BITCH ABOUT IT?! IT WAS ONE TOSS THAT YOU SAID WAS SHITTY! WHY GET SO WORKED UP ABOUT IT?!"**

**"BECAUSE I CAN! AND FOR THE RECORD—"** Kunimi coughed once, twice, and was suddenly in a coughing fit that was going on far too long and too hard for it to be just him choking on his own spit by chance.

 **"Akira, hey, are you—"** Kageyama lost his words as he stared at Kunimi's hands and mouth.

_blood_

_a lot of blood_

Kunimi was shaking as he looked at his own hand that he used to cover his mouth **"To-tobio..."**

Kageyama was frozen in place, not knowing what to do, as Kunimi's whole being shook at the sight of the blood on his hands and mouth.

 **"Akira... wait, okay, shit, I'm gonna call help, okay? Just, wait here while I get my—"** Kageyama was cut off as Kunimi held his arm with his hand.

**"Don't— don't leave, To—"**

Kageyama stilled.

 **"Aki— Akira? Hey, wake up"** Kageyama held Kunimi's hand as he shook **"Hey, love, come on, this isn't a good joke. Wake up, hm? Akira..."**

The entrance to the gym opened.

 **"Tobio-chan~ Kunimi-chan~ Are you guys still—"** Oikawa cut himself off as he saw Kunimi in Kageyama's arms.

**"Oikawa-san..."**

Kageyama was crying.

**"What— Did he—"**

**"Please help us, Oikawa-san"**

\---

_September 13, 20xx_

Kunimi was confined to a hospital after that, unconscious due to the excessive loss of blood the day before. He had gained consciousness the morning after.

Kageyama was waiting outside of Kunimi's hospital room. Oikawa was inside, being Kunimi's only available guardian at the time, with the doctor and a few nurses that were tending to Kunimi.

_what happened?_

_was it because of too much practice?_

_was it caused by his smoking?_

_was it something completely different?_

Kageyama was staring blankly at his hands that were once stained with Kunimi's blood, so deep in thought that he didn't realize the people that were once inside the room had filed out and Oikawa was in front of him.

**"Tobio"**

**"Oikawa-san?"**

**"Would you like to go inside? He's looking for you"**

**"He is?"**

**"He 's worried about you"**

**"Is he even in a condition to be worrying about others?"** Kageyama chuckled, hollow and empty.

 **"Go to him, you need each other"** Oikawa patted his shoulder once, turned away, and proceeded to walk away.

 **"Oikawa-san"** Kageyama called out

**"Yeah?"**

**"Is he gonna be okay?"**

Oikawa hung his head low and turned around, eyes glossy.

 **"It's better if you ask him, not me"** Oikawa forced a smile and finally walked away.

_Oikawa-san..._

Kageyama wanted to call out to Oikawa, wanted to ask what did he mean by that and why couldn't he just tell him himself that Kunimi was going to be alright.

_He will, won't he?_

_He'll be okay._

Kageyama slid open the door to Kunimi's room, knees shaking lightly as he tried to will himself to go inside and look at him.

 **"Hey, Tobi"** Kunimi called out weakly

 **"Akira"** Kageyama sucked in a breath and looked away while clutching his mouth, unable to look at Kunimi properly.

_He looks so different, so fragile, so weak_

**"Tobio? Tobi?"**

**"Y-Yeah? What do you need?"** Kageyama wiped away his tears before facing Kunimi.

 **"I need you"** Kunimi let out a small, sad smile **"Stay by my side? Hold my hand?"**

_As if I could ever say "no" to you, Akira_

Kageyama walked towards Kunimi's hospital bed and sat down beside him, hloding his hand and intertwining their fingers.

 **"I'm here, Aki"** Kageyama placed a quick kiss to the back of Kunimi's hand **"I'm not going anywhere"**

 **"You aren't"** Kunimi ran his hand through Kageyama's hair **"But I will"**

Kageyama's heart stopped for one, two seconds.

 **"What do you mean, Aki? You're not going anywhere, you're staying by my side"** Kageyama was tearing up as he held onto Kunimi's hands tighter, not wanting to let go **"You are, aren't you?"**

**"It's too late for me, Tobio. The massive hemoptysis was the last straw, not even chemo can help me at this point"**

Kunimi was crying. Crying because he can't be saved, crying because it's too late, crying because Kageyama's sobbing into his hands as he told him what the doctor had told him just moments ago.

 **"It was lung cancer. I was diagnosed late because I refused to get checked whenever Oikawa-san told me to. He had noticed long before that there was a hint of blood in the tissues that I used. When I found out, he even stopped smoking to encourage me to stop too, but I didn't"** Kunimi covered his face with his other hand, ashamed, as Kageyama kept sobbing into his other **"And I— I couldn't get chemo because it was too expensive..."**

 **"I— I gave up , I was ready to die at that point..."** Kunimi tried to stop his tears from streaming as he looked at Kageyama **"But I remembered you"**

Kageyama looked up to Kunimi at the mention of him **"I remembered just how happy you made me, how you paid attention to me, how you made me feel loved"**

Kageyama let go of Kunimi's hand and wiped his tears for him **"Tell me everything, Akira. I'm here, I'm listening, I'm listening"**

 **"This is so stupid but I love you. I loved you ever since high school. I loved you more in college. I love how you pay attention to me. I love how you know so many things about me that other people don't know about. I love how you remember those small things about me. I love how you don't hesitate when I offer you my hand. I love how you blush because of me. I love how you get embarrassed when I tease you. I love _you."_** Kunimi let himself fall on Kageyama's shoulder.

**_"I love you so much, Tobio. I promise you. It's only you, it has only been you, even before and until now"_ **

Kageyama was silent, tears still flowing, as he held Kunimi closer to him, feeling his warmth **_"I— I love you"_** Kageyama whispered

**_"I wish this never happened"_ **

**"Wha— What?"** Kunimi was confused as he looked into Kageyama's eyes

 **"I wish _this_ never happened. All of this. We could've been happy, if only none of this happened to you. I could've been with you. We could have lived together. Achieved our dreams together. Wake up each day seeing each other's face in the morning. Had kids together. Grew old together. We could have— _We could have ended up together, Akira"_** Kageyama had sobbed yet again into Kunimi's chest

 ** _"We could have ended up together"_** Kunimi repeated as he consoled Kageyama.

_We could have ended up together._

\---

_September 13, 20xx_

It has exactly been one month since Kageyama found out that Kunimi was dying, and in the span of that one month, not one day has passed that Kageyama didn't go to visit Kunimi at the hospital. He would always bring a basket of fruits that they would eat together, his laptop where they'd watch movies before Kunimi goes to bed and a novel books that they would read in silence, both perfectly comfortable just being in each other's presence.

In the span of that one month, Kunimi had significantly grown weaker as each day passed. There would be days that he could barely sit himself up, talk, or even breathe properly.

It broke Kageyama's heart seeing him like that. But he still smiled whenever he'd visit Kunimi, genuinely happy to see him still... _there._

 **"What are you writing? I've seen that same piece of paper for a few days now"** Kageyama asked as he fixed his things, ready to go home for the day (the hospital didn't allow sleepovers)

Kunimi gestured that it was nothing and hid the pen and paper full of scribbles in the bedside drawer.

 **"I'm going home, Aki. I'll see you tomorrow, hm?"** Kageyama kissed Kunimi's hand, forehead and pecked his lips.

 **"I love you"** Kageyama said.

 ** _"I love you too"_** Kunimi replies weakly but it reached Kageyama.

**"Bye, Aki"**

Kageyama left the room.

\---

_September 13, 20xx ; 11:17 pm_

Kageyama's phone rang as he went out of the shower.

_Oikawa-san? why would he be calling this late at night?_

**"Hello?"**

**"To— Tobio..."**

**"Oikawa-san..? What's wrong? Why are you cr—"**

**"He's gone"**

Kageyama felt as if the earth had stood still.

**"...What?"**

**"Kunimi's gone, Tobio."**

Kageyama ended the call and rushed to the hospital

_That can't be. Wait for me, Akira. I'm coming._

\---

Kageyama rushed to Kunimi's room, only to be greeted with the doctor by the heart monitor that showed a flatline, a nurse that put a thin white sheet over Kunimi's pale body, and Oikawa sobbing by the side.

**"Kunimi Akira. Cause of death: Respiratory failure due to Lung cancer. Time of death: 11:13pm, September 13th, 20xx"**

**"Oikawa-san..? How... Why..."** Kageyama couldn't form a correct sentence as he lifelessly stepped into the room, almost collapsing to the ground if not for the help of a nurse.

 **"Doc, can you... tell him what happened, please"** Oikawa couldn't help but choke on his own sobs as he buried his face beside Kunimi.

_Kunimi's lifeless body._

**"The cause of death was respiratory failure due to his lung cancer. Apparently, the cancer cells had spread throughout his right lung that caused it to fail, thus, not being able to circulate the oxygen properly. We tried to revive him after he lost consciousness but sadly, to no avail. We did everything we could but according to the heart rate monitor, he had flatlined at 11:13pm. I'm sorry for your lost"** the doctor explained then patted Kageyama's shoulder and preceeded to exit the room.

 **"Mr. Oikawa, I'm terribly sorry, but I need you to fill out some documents regarding the patient"** the nurse told Oikawa and waited for him so she could escort him to the front desk.

 **"Yes, sure"** Oikawa stood up from beside Kunimi and turned away

 **"I found this in one of the bedside drawers, it's for you"** Oikawa gave a familiar looking paper with scribbles all over it to Kageyama, gave him a quick hug, then went out of the room with the nurse, closing the door behind him.

Kageyama sat down beside Kunimi and held his hand.

_cold._

**"Akira..."**

Kunimi's hands were cold, not like the warm ones Kageyama had always held everyday that month, and Kageyama winced at the cold but he couldn't care less, the fact that Kunimi was gone still hasn't fully sunken in his head yet, his brain refusing to accept the new information that could possibly break him. He was hoping to feel at least a tinge of warmth that Kunimi once had as he held tighter onto the latter's hand, he was looking for that last string of hope that he could hold onto.

But nothing.

**"Akira..."**

Kageyama had no tears left to cry, as though his eyes' dam of tears were dried, not a drop left, nothing more to shed at the death of his beloved.

He looked at the piece of paper that he got from Oikawa and read the words that were scattered all throughout, in a familiar scribbly but understandable handwriting of Kunimi Akira.

_I'm sorry King_

_I can't breathe so easily anymore_

_I love you Tobio_

_I really wish none of this happened, too_

_I can feel myself slipping Tobio_

_I don't want this to end yet_

_i love you i love you i love you i love you_

_The apples you brought were crazy good_

_I love you Tobi_

_It's funny that we're both grown adults but still cry over that one scene in Inside Out_

_I want to wake up everyday and you'll be the first thing I'll see_

_I want to grow old with you_

_I love you King_

_The Little Prince was such a great book_

_I want to make it with you_

_I love you, Kageyama Tobio_

_Thank you for staying by my side until the end_

_Thank you for loving me until the end_

_I promise you that you are the only one I have ever loved in this lifetime_

And there, in a familiar place that Kageyama remembered as the last place Kunimi wrote on that day before he left, before he hid the paper, before he said goodbye; written in small shaky letters.

_Bye, Tobi. I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed !! 
> 
> [ my twitter ](https://twitter.com/kodzuknm)


End file.
